Can i not drive my cunt home
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
