on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
