Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
