How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
