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bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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