Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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