so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
