She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
worst night to have a conscience
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
