Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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