id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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