This house was built for laser tag.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
