did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
