THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
