My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize