Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
