Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
