I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
