North Korea, Best Korea!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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