So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
