What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
