I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
