just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
