I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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