A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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