Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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