question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize