If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize