you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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