i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
