Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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