Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
