Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
