i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
