Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
