She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
