dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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