But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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