How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
