Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
