Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
