I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
