I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
