and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Come on in and take your pants off
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