You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
