My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
