So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
