Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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