awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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