Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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