Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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