no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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