Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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