One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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