everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
