I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
