Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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