Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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