was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
