I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
